Miley Cyrus in boring pic scandal!
April 22nd 2008 11:47
So it seems that some pictures of Miley Cyrus that look like they were taken for adultmatchmaker.com were leaked onto the internet. I will now take the time to answer some FAQ’s concerning this affair.
1. Who is Miley Cyrus?
As far as I know, she’s some random that got her own show on the Disney Channel off the back of the fact that her dad had one hit song in the nineties. My dad caught a 60 kilo fish once, I wonder what Disney would give me for that… a five minute cooking show spot every once and a while perhaps.
2. If she’s Miley Cyrus, then who is Hannah Montana?
I’m lead to believe that Hannah Montana is the character she plays on the show. I also heard somewhere along the line that she’s not Hannah Montana all the time, just when she’s wearing that blonde-toned zebra stripe wig. By that logic, I could also be Hannah Montana, because I have seen that exact same wig on sale at Toys R Us.
3. What’s the big deal about these photos?
Well for starters Cyrus is like 15 or something. But other than that, they’re not all that shocking, even in comparison with photos of fat naked people you’d get in spam emails. The one I saw was just her pulling down her singlet to reveal her bra. I’m not going to post the pictures, one of because of copyright and all that, and two because if you really want to see them you can find them yourself, and then have to live with the fact that you actually made a point of searching for the pictures in question.
4. Isn’t it unfair to chastise her for doing regular stupid teenage girl stuff?
The truth is, if you look at the large percentage of the profiles kept by girls the same age on Myspace, you will see crap loads of pictures in the same vein. It doesn’t justify Cyrus’ actions, nor do her photos justify all the other Myspace style “taken from a high angle face down but looking up at the camera pull my top down so you can see my lacy bra” shots that are all over the place. How do I know about all this? I have a sister about her age, and I know what those girls get up to. Not because my sister is one of those girls, or because she is “in” with those girls, but because they are whoring themselves out on their personal pages, which can easily be found through the linking of friends of friends online.
But the point I’m trying to make is that my sister doesn’t do that sort of crap, and neither do her friends. Nor do my other sister and her friends. And I don’t even have a Myspace, or the patience to be friends with webcam whore types. So if Miley Cyrus doesn’t want to miss out on the apparent teenage right of passage that is being an online prostitute, I’m sure there are 207 other girls waiting in the wings to wear that wig that can keep it in their pants. Hilary Duff held out alright, up until I saw that footage of her from her new movie where she sticks a scorpion down her pants while John Cusack watches with this “what the shit that’s Hilary Duff sticking a scorpion down her pants” kind of look on his face.
5. Why can’t the Disney girls keep it in their pants?
This isn’t the first time this has happened to Cyrus, or a high profile Disney girl for that matter. Remember all this happened with that chick from High School Musical, except it was worse because I think she was actually full on in the nude, and everyone thought that she was going to loose her contract, and then some claimed that she did it intentionally to get out of said contract. But then everyone got over it and she still works for them and they’re still making those movies even though some of those kids would be old enough to be graduating with law degrees. And then there’s Lindsay Lohan… I don’t think that I could blog anything about her that hasn’t already been blogged before.
What gets me about all these girls is when these pictures catch up with them that all use that same “personal use only, no one was ever meant to see them” defence. Here’s the thing; if you’re in the public eye, and you take naked or suggestive photos of yourself, they’re going to end up on the internet. Everyone is going to see them. There’s to doubt about it. A decade ago I would have said that if you’re shooting for stardom, you should avoid these same risky activities, but these days, sex scandals don’t ruin a person’s career, they serve as the platform for it. I guess the trick is to find a balance that suits your career goals in the nude photos of yourself floating about the place. For example, you wouldn’t distribute naked pictures you took of yourself with your mobile phone when you’re famous solely for being the clean cut choir-girl type leading lady in a series of Disney movies. Oh wait…
And last but not least…
6. Why should I care about any of this?
You shouldn’t, but if you’ve made it this far, you obviously do. I just rocked your world.
1. Who is Miley Cyrus?
As far as I know, she’s some random that got her own show on the Disney Channel off the back of the fact that her dad had one hit song in the nineties. My dad caught a 60 kilo fish once, I wonder what Disney would give me for that… a five minute cooking show spot every once and a while perhaps.
2. If she’s Miley Cyrus, then who is Hannah Montana?
3. What’s the big deal about these photos?
Well for starters Cyrus is like 15 or something. But other than that, they’re not all that shocking, even in comparison with photos of fat naked people you’d get in spam emails. The one I saw was just her pulling down her singlet to reveal her bra. I’m not going to post the pictures, one of because of copyright and all that, and two because if you really want to see them you can find them yourself, and then have to live with the fact that you actually made a point of searching for the pictures in question.
4. Isn’t it unfair to chastise her for doing regular stupid teenage girl stuff?
The truth is, if you look at the large percentage of the profiles kept by girls the same age on Myspace, you will see crap loads of pictures in the same vein. It doesn’t justify Cyrus’ actions, nor do her photos justify all the other Myspace style “taken from a high angle face down but looking up at the camera pull my top down so you can see my lacy bra” shots that are all over the place. How do I know about all this? I have a sister about her age, and I know what those girls get up to. Not because my sister is one of those girls, or because she is “in” with those girls, but because they are whoring themselves out on their personal pages, which can easily be found through the linking of friends of friends online.
But the point I’m trying to make is that my sister doesn’t do that sort of crap, and neither do her friends. Nor do my other sister and her friends. And I don’t even have a Myspace, or the patience to be friends with webcam whore types. So if Miley Cyrus doesn’t want to miss out on the apparent teenage right of passage that is being an online prostitute, I’m sure there are 207 other girls waiting in the wings to wear that wig that can keep it in their pants. Hilary Duff held out alright, up until I saw that footage of her from her new movie where she sticks a scorpion down her pants while John Cusack watches with this “what the shit that’s Hilary Duff sticking a scorpion down her pants” kind of look on his face.
5. Why can’t the Disney girls keep it in their pants?
This isn’t the first time this has happened to Cyrus, or a high profile Disney girl for that matter. Remember all this happened with that chick from High School Musical, except it was worse because I think she was actually full on in the nude, and everyone thought that she was going to loose her contract, and then some claimed that she did it intentionally to get out of said contract. But then everyone got over it and she still works for them and they’re still making those movies even though some of those kids would be old enough to be graduating with law degrees. And then there’s Lindsay Lohan… I don’t think that I could blog anything about her that hasn’t already been blogged before.
What gets me about all these girls is when these pictures catch up with them that all use that same “personal use only, no one was ever meant to see them” defence. Here’s the thing; if you’re in the public eye, and you take naked or suggestive photos of yourself, they’re going to end up on the internet. Everyone is going to see them. There’s to doubt about it. A decade ago I would have said that if you’re shooting for stardom, you should avoid these same risky activities, but these days, sex scandals don’t ruin a person’s career, they serve as the platform for it. I guess the trick is to find a balance that suits your career goals in the nude photos of yourself floating about the place. For example, you wouldn’t distribute naked pictures you took of yourself with your mobile phone when you’re famous solely for being the clean cut choir-girl type leading lady in a series of Disney movies. Oh wait…
And last but not least…
6. Why should I care about any of this?
You shouldn’t, but if you’ve made it this far, you obviously do. I just rocked your world.
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