Mr Nice GuyExclusive behind the scenes Oscar's report you won't want to miss!
February 23rd 2008 09:20
So, this year's Oscars are upon us, and trash TV has gone into over drive in order to feed the false idol frenzy, with each individual program airing exclusive insider specials and stories that you won’t see anywhere else, especially not on the show that airs immediately after the one you just endured on that same network that seems awfully similar to the one that proceeded it, regarding the event.
However, if you by some bizarre chance decide to actually take time out of your day to sit down and pay attention to these shows, perhaps because you want to see biographical showcases detailing the lifetime achievements of the nominees, or maybe because you want to know more about how the writer's strike came to an end and how this whole debacle affected the awards, you should have known better. Entertainment television isn't usually all that concerned with entertainment in this sense. If you were looking for this kind of credible information that actually serves a purpose, you'd have to... in fact I don't even know where you would source it from. The way I do things is I take in everything from all different sources, and then use my own personal discretion to filter out the crap. (Disclaimer: Do not try this at home, I am a trained professional)
So what are these exclusive, in depth reports actually reporting? What I am led to believe most people care about exclusively due to the amount of air time the topic receives: fashion.
But wait, I hear you ask, how can they be doing the red carpet wrap ups now? The Academy Awards aren't for a few more days, and celebrities don't unveil their carefully thought out ensembles until the night of nights. Behold the magic of trash TV, fashioned by entertainment news masters with the powers to take absolutely nothing and turn it into a one hour must see special that you won’t want to miss. What they are doing is merely speculating what certain people might wear to the event, by calling in the expert opinions of random funny looking guys with equally funny names, which somehow equates to holding some esteem in the world of fashion, who work in boutiques that stock the kind of designer labels that celebrities wear to such affairs.
If they’re lucky, some actual celebrities may have actually bought something from store in question… but if not, the funny looking guy can always walk around the store with the size 0 television presenter who also holds some esteem in the fashion world just because she is so god damn skinny, pointing out frocks that looks similar to those that have been worn by Oscar winners in past years, or putting together outfits that they feel would suit noted celebrities, as if Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman had nothing better to do and were actually watching that crap for inspiration and were gonna think “Hey, that’s a great idea, Fernadez and Kaleshia, I’ll make sure to credit you on the red carpet when every other annoying dickhead with a microphone like you asks me what I’m wearing!”
You may have noticed that by now I have written a decent sized post without actually having anything decent or important to write about, and upon almost finishing reading what could most accurately described as my ramblings you are leaving the table without having learnt anything or bettering yourself in anyway. Perhaps I am making a statement about entertainment television by writing in a similar manner to the way they produce their supposedly life changing programs... but it's more likely I just felt like rambling. Ahh, the mysteries of life.
So what do I predict for this year’s Oscars? Very little rocking… probably not even any popping. As usual, a couple of underdogs will win in the less important categories just to make it look like everyone gets a fair go, but some stupid predictable film like Atonement will take home the big award of the night. As for fashion side of things, I only hope that Bai Ling has been invited to rock the proceedings a bit.
However, if you by some bizarre chance decide to actually take time out of your day to sit down and pay attention to these shows, perhaps because you want to see biographical showcases detailing the lifetime achievements of the nominees, or maybe because you want to know more about how the writer's strike came to an end and how this whole debacle affected the awards, you should have known better. Entertainment television isn't usually all that concerned with entertainment in this sense. If you were looking for this kind of credible information that actually serves a purpose, you'd have to... in fact I don't even know where you would source it from. The way I do things is I take in everything from all different sources, and then use my own personal discretion to filter out the crap. (Disclaimer: Do not try this at home, I am a trained professional)
So what are these exclusive, in depth reports actually reporting? What I am led to believe most people care about exclusively due to the amount of air time the topic receives: fashion.
But wait, I hear you ask, how can they be doing the red carpet wrap ups now? The Academy Awards aren't for a few more days, and celebrities don't unveil their carefully thought out ensembles until the night of nights. Behold the magic of trash TV, fashioned by entertainment news masters with the powers to take absolutely nothing and turn it into a one hour must see special that you won’t want to miss. What they are doing is merely speculating what certain people might wear to the event, by calling in the expert opinions of random funny looking guys with equally funny names, which somehow equates to holding some esteem in the world of fashion, who work in boutiques that stock the kind of designer labels that celebrities wear to such affairs.
If they’re lucky, some actual celebrities may have actually bought something from store in question… but if not, the funny looking guy can always walk around the store with the size 0 television presenter who also holds some esteem in the fashion world just because she is so god damn skinny, pointing out frocks that looks similar to those that have been worn by Oscar winners in past years, or putting together outfits that they feel would suit noted celebrities, as if Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman had nothing better to do and were actually watching that crap for inspiration and were gonna think “Hey, that’s a great idea, Fernadez and Kaleshia, I’ll make sure to credit you on the red carpet when every other annoying dickhead with a microphone like you asks me what I’m wearing!”
You may have noticed that by now I have written a decent sized post without actually having anything decent or important to write about, and upon almost finishing reading what could most accurately described as my ramblings you are leaving the table without having learnt anything or bettering yourself in anyway. Perhaps I am making a statement about entertainment television by writing in a similar manner to the way they produce their supposedly life changing programs... but it's more likely I just felt like rambling. Ahh, the mysteries of life.
So what do I predict for this year’s Oscars? Very little rocking… probably not even any popping. As usual, a couple of underdogs will win in the less important categories just to make it look like everyone gets a fair go, but some stupid predictable film like Atonement will take home the big award of the night. As for fashion side of things, I only hope that Bai Ling has been invited to rock the proceedings a bit.
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